My Philosophy: Hurt People, Hurt People

In my humanities class our course "Who Am I," was the introduction to different philosophers and concepts and questions that we never talked about before. Different ways on thinking about the world, the universe, and society. We learned about the conscious and the unconscious mind, and the collective and cultural unconscious as well. We asked questions about ourselves. We started out with Socrates, and all the philosophers after him. Our class did a personal wheel about how we view ourselves. We talked about our personality and individuality, and how are different experiences in life make us who we are today. We talked about society, and how society expects us to be. We read Sophie's World, and eventually came up with a philosophy for our action project.

One philosophy that I have and have come to understand is that Hurt People, Hurt People.

Below is my podcast and essay.


Hi, My name is Trinity, I am 16 years old, I live in the city of Chicago and This I believe: I believe hurt people, hurt people. I learned this at an early age, and my experience with this is very close to home. My experience is with hurt people, hurting me.

I came to realize this belief when I was around 12. My dad was my hero, I looked up to him more than anyone else. It was the first time we “ran away” from home. We went to my mom’s cousin’s house out of state. I remember him calling me and telling me to push my mom out of the car and drive away. When he found out that we left, he called my mom and told her to put him on speaker. He told us that he had a gun to his head and that he wouldn’t be there the next morning. That was the first time he really showed his true colors.

My dad was one of the biggest manipulators in my life - and still is. He’s a very broken person and after 5 years I have come to realize that through a lot of pain and emotional trauma. It was a very hard truth for me to recognize that it was abuse. 

My dad is a stereotypical narcissist. Which means he is very selfish. He came to be this way because of his rough childhood. He dealt with neglect, overindulgence, poverty, racism, and abuse. I remember my great aunt telling me “Those kids never had any food.” He grew up second youngest out of 7 siblings. He spent his whole life trying to prove himself, prove to people that we was worth something. He still does. Money always made him happy. His value was always on the outside. Money lended him false credibility. The toolbox analogy is what I use to explain my Dad’s inability to communicate his hurt and his pain. He only has a hammer, and he looks at every situation like a nail. Sometimes you need an allen wrench, or a screwdriver. There are other ways to communicate your feelings without manipulating and hurting others.

Because of my dad I am very sensitive to people around me and I am very cautious. I grew up having to walk around eggshells with him because any little thing I would say, could cause him to erupt. I am suspicious of people around me, and I have major trust issues. I always think someone has an ulterior motive against me, or a game plan. My dad always said things intentionally to test reactions. He always had people on a script. 

My philosophy relates to Freud’s because he believes that events and experiences that happened from your childhood can have a big influence on our lives as adults. He believes that emotions drives your decisions, not logic. He believes that we hide hurt deep in our unconscious in different ways. Denial, repression, projection, displacement, and regression. Aristotle believes that ethics is what influences most people’s decisions, that we think “what is the ethical thing to do?” I don’t agree. My dad has struggled most of his life with his hurt and pain, and with controlling his emotions. He doesn’t think before he says or does something. Most people don’t do that.

Dealing with people that hurt people you have to learn how to forgive. You can love people from a distance. I hope my Dad receives healing one day, and learns how to forgive the people who hurt him too. Remember that it is not personal what they do to you, even if it may feel that way.

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